Submitted By Art: W2ALW

During a recent trip my wife and I were on, we drove around the back woods of East Texas near Athens. On one back road I saw a sign in front of a broken down shanty style house: ‘Talking Dog For Sale.’ Well I needed a break, so I stopped to see what the deal was. I went into the backyard and saw a nice looking Labrador retriever sitting there.

‘You talk?’ I asked. ‘Yep,’ the Lab replies. Well after I got over the shock of hearing a dog talk, I asked ‘So, what’s your story?’ ‘Ah shucks there ain’t much to tell. Is that a VUU screwdriver antenna on your truck out there?’ ‘How did you know that?’ I asked.

The Lab looks up and says, ‘Well, I’m a ham radio operator. I got my Ticket when I was a young pup and in no time at all I had my 5 band DXCC in Phone and CW.’

‘The CIA heard about me and asked me to do some spy work for them. I would hang around the communications centers and with my keen hearing, I could copy the transmissions, because no one figured a dog would be eavesdropping. I was one of their most valuable spies for eight years.’

‘Copying high speed CW all day really tired me out and I knew I wasn’t getting any younger. So, I decided to settle down. I retired from the CIA (8 dog years is 56 in CIA years) and joined a ham radio club. In fact I won first place in the Oklahoma QSO Party two years in a row.’

‘Then I had a mess of puppies and got away from ham radio for a while. I sure miss my radio. Why don’t you buy me and I’ll be your CW operator in the Texas QSO Party.’

I said, ‘Let me see what I can do.’ I went back in and asked the owner what he wanted for the dog. ‘Ten dollars,’ the guy said. ‘Ten dollars? This dog is amazing! Why on earth are you selling him so cheap?’

‘Because he’s a liar. He never did any of that stuff. He’s a No-Code Technician.’